The Dirt Road

It has been one long month! I'm sure everyone knows about all of the sickness we have had here in the past few weeks. So much I can't believe it. But now we are better! We made it through. But then while we were on our way back to healthy I returned to work and shortly found out I had been "directly impacted" by the sinking economy....yep, I was laid off along with 270 other employees of my (ex-) company. Sitting there listening to the lady tell me this I was almost in disbelief, I kept thinking, Really? What have we done to deserve this? But I held my head as high as I could and walked out of there. I must admit I was partly relieved..I hadn't been particularly enjoying my new work since I had returned from maternity leave. I think that was mostly because compared to being a Mommy nothing seems to measure up, nothing means as much so I was at work feeling empty and feeling like the work was just not as important as what I could be doing with Ava at home. So I left there and of course I was sad, the worst was knowing I had to come home and tell Kenny after the awful few weeks he had just been through and the fact that the boat business just isn't all that booming right now. So we had our day to be upset and we did the things I think any family would do, we cried, we talked and we sat speechless for a few days too. Then I went to spend the weekend with my family in Holden Beach so that I could have a couple nights of uninterrupted sleep and I let my parents watch Ava. While I was there I went to church with my Dad and Step mom. There was a special singing group there called the "Crab Family Revival". They are a Christian Rock group pretty much and they were great. But they didn't just sing, the lead singer would speak in between songs and the whole band would add things as they felt like it. As I sat there listening to his sermon which made me feel like I was the only one in that sanctuary and like he was looking straight at me, he talked about personal responsibility and how God expects us to have it. He doesn't help people who don't help themselves and he also never promised us the journey he has set for us will be easy. It got me to thinking....sometimes the road isn't paved. Sometimes we have to walk down that old dirt road with all the rocks and bumps and wholes to get to the place we need to go. And in this case its Home..to Heaven, after all isn't that where we are all trying to go? To such a beautiful, amazing place...why would we think it is supposed to be EASY to get there? They say your experiences shape who you are and I truly believe that. So if we went through life and everything was easy what kind of spoiled ungrateful, unaware people would we be? The Lord wouldn't want us then...we'd have nothing to offer Him all we would do would be take, take, take. So he puts us on this old dirt road to walk down in life and He expects us to jump over the wholes and kick the rocks out the way and keep on going and along the way he blesses us with drinking holes and some berry bushes and sometimes he will even carry us Himself. So as I sat there in church I was grateful for all the hardships I have faced because I know I am stronger because of them. And I was over come with a feeling of peace and no longer scared because I was unemployed because I know that I will get through this, I have been through worse times. And I know that after this is over I will be that much more strong for having endured it. So I just thought of how life is like an old dirt road, not a smooth paved road and we have to walk down it with our heads up and with our faith high because He never promised it would be easy He just left instructions for what to do to get there.