The Old Boy

These past few months have been trying to say the LEAST when it comes to our three dogs...well more Marley than anything but having 3 dogs with a 14 months old is no easy feet. Marley has been peeing all over the house and pooping on everything...he has his coughing fits and the poop just comes out and he can't help it. Same with the pee, if he gets excited it just comes out, when he wakes up in the morning and gets up out of his bed, it comes out on the way to go outside. Kenny has been trying to get up with him and take him on a walk to let him empty his bladder on his terms along the road on the mailboxes (he loves to pee on them) but sometimes Kenny doesn't make it up in time. And so many mornings I get up with Ava and come downstairs to the smell of dog poop and its either smeared all over the floor (which I have stopped cleaning all together since its a waste of energy) OR its all over the couch OR its all over his own bed which I have to wash about 4 times a week now. I pray to God to give me the compassion and patience to deal with him because I know he can't help it and he doesn't even know what is happening to him. But some days its so hard! I also feel terrible for Kenny having to watch this happen to his old buddy, Marley has been a part of Kenny's life longer than ME! He has been there for him through all of the good and bad times over the past 13 years, in some instances Marley was all Kenny had. So watching this happen to him, although inevitable, is agonizing for Kenny so I try to keep my cool and be loving and patient and understanding. And also do something I don't think enough people do these days, I try to put myself in Kenny's place. If it was me watching one of the other two dogs (which I consider more mine then Marley because I have known them from the time they were puppies) I would be in pieces and so heartbroken and angry and I know he is feeling all of these things too. So I am trying. Even though I cringe at the thought of any sort of grossness being left behind even after I have cloroxed the spots he messes up. I just feel like poor Ava is going to come across some sort of germ thats going to make her sick or something. I clean up after the messes constantly and do my very best to disinfect every inch of the disaster site but who knows if its enough. So now I feel like am I being a bad parent? But what about being a bad wife if I wanted to get Marley out of the house???? He would never forgive me? I would be so angry if he ever asked that of me. But then Ava has to come first....she is our life now and the dogs really are just dogs right? Its so confusing. But one thing that is nice is Marley went to stay with Kenny's mom for about a month so we can take a quick vacation in June so I will get a break at least for right now. Then hopefully when I get back I will be able to find a job...not that I even want one. I went from feeling like I lost myself and who I was to finding myself and loving every single second of being home with Ava. She is thriving and I believe being able to be home with her is helping her and I both in so many ways. But financially we just can't afford it so I am going to have to find something, even if only part time. But that is ok...we do what we have to right!